Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
