She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
