She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
