Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
