You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
