im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
