Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
