I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Alive.
So much puke
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
