Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
