I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
