I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
