I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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