I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know, be my cock's hype man.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
