They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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