i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Still dying that you shit outside
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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