plz talk dirty to me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
