she was so not down for the gang bang
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
