Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
