you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize