Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
