I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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