So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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