you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize