It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
