If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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