Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
