We named our party play list daddy issues
there was a trapeze. enough said
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
