no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
