first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this boner is exhausting
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
