trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize