shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
