Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
