I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
