Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
