My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
