i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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