you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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