Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize