when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
