If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
