Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
