i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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