I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Actions speak louder than pants.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
