Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
