The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You smell like stripper and shame
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
