You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
