He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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