so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
