How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
