well he's currently spooning the coffee table
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
