her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
