I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
