Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize