lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
