Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
