guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
