I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
