Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
