If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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