also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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